तुम

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उसके दबे पाँव पायल की छनक
मेरे हर खट्टी मीठी बात पे गूँज उठी |
मधुर एक सागर की लहर बनके
मेरे दिल के कागज़ पे गज़ल बन गयी |
छम छम एक राग वो, कभी मधुर, कभी नटखट
वो मेरे जिंदगी की हसीन तकदीर बन लिखी |
कुछ इस तरह तुम्हारे रंगों से उल्फ़त हो गया
की कभी आप, कभी तुम, तो कभी हम हो गये |

-Roshni Rajshekhar Nair

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Our’s is the kind of Love…

Our’s is the kind of love you read in novels,
The ones that touch your soul, and melts your heart.
And my love for you is Old,
Born way before our time,
It’s a look that keeps us warm,
Like sipping on that glass of fine wine.
And we loved, to not be together,
To not die together, But we loved.
Like old tales sing, we never gazed,
But you are the sun that hits my face,
And I am the wind that caresses your neck,
So Look up, for our’s is the kind of love that makes the sky rain.

-Roshni Rajshekhar Nair

An epistle to my younger self.

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For You, Forever

I find me
An unsung hero, in your eyes,
In the lustful stories of your mind,
The tender kisses of our lips that never touched
Through the lightyears between our bodies, never twined,
I find me
Like the scent of my fears
Like knowing that the wanting of being wanted,
I might make it there, someday,
Just to be apart by a whisker, From you,
I find me
More in your laughs, Than in me of course,
Like that uncasted shadow of your presence,
Lingers, Inseparable you are, My dear, I fear,
Just how the poets praised, And sonnets sang,
I find me,
Above the ground, more towards holy,
Defeated you are, as I Surrender in your arms,
And I shall wait, for time to reverse, for seasons to change,
And for the sky to burn in flames, For you, Forever.

-Roshni Rajshekhar Nair

Complex.

Run
Stop!
Chaos
Outcry
Breathe
Initiate
Magnitude
Complexify
Rhythmizing
Acknowledged
Diffi∼cult-to-define

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-Roshni Rajshekhar Nair

HOPE.

I am an old, rusted, rare tree,
Trying to scrape off my bark
Willing to make a new start.
Like a moth shedding its skin,
I am growing, scaring, healing,
I am here with hope in my heart.

 

-Roshni Rajshekhar Nair

Winter.

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Post #68

I think I know
Calm down! Not of your sins,
Nor of what you did last summer.
I think I know,
Of the days growing shorter,
With the approach of winter,
I know of the nights being colder,
With my tea steeped in warm water.
But did you know,
I use the same tea bag for multiple infusions
I watch the colour fade away each time,
Just like the autumn leaves fall.
I suppose I love it here,
Just to wake up each morning
By my imperfect flawed self,
And see that I am raw.I am beautiful.
Maybe I’ll swing this poem on my wall,
I’ll appreciate myself for once today,
For twice, For thrice, Forever,
Cos I have stumbled upon this thing,
This thing named TIME,
And It so happens that time might be-
A friend In disguise,
Time says whats unsaid,
That its time to look within,
That its time to breathe,
That its time to laugh harder,
That its time to live.

-Roshni Rajshekhar Nair

My depression

My depression is a war,
And I am a lone warrior.
Fighting with myself, Everyday
There is no one beside me,
There is no one here who might possibly win me.
My friend, she talks about the texts she received yesterday
I wish I could tell her, I cried myself to sleep last night
I wish I could show her the scars on my soul
That numb feeling that I get every time I laugh
That numbness like a cold winter night
Leaving me in pain, leaving me helpless.
I know that I don’t show it, but I’m miserable
I feel I let you down, Mom!
I feel I am responsible for the bad things in our lives
I feel I’m the root cause of our problems
I wish I could tell you,
This journey I’m on seems to have a dead end
I wish I could show you but things are foggy
And I’m so tired to fight
I close my eyes, and I count
One, Two, Three,
But my problems just multiply
Two, Four, Nine, Infinite.
And I forgot how to sleep
If I paint my brain out,
It’s a splatter of black and white
I wish I could splash the colours from the rainbow
And fill my heart with life.
Deep breaths. In, Out,
Out of the bed, Sip some coffee,
Another day, another battle,
Trouble existing, Trouble functioning
No one has yet noticed,
Maybe no one ever will,
But in this deep sea of my sorrow,
I will find the surface,
I will learn to survive,
I will learn as I refuse to drown.

-Roshni Rajshekhar Nair

Mental health problems can affect anyone on any day of the year. Talk about it. Mental Health Matters. 

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Of life, Of time, Of space

And yes I am tired
Not of life, not of time, not of space.
You see, I did live, so far, so gay,
With each day, I was more of a human,
Laughing, Crying, Defecating human,
With each song, learning a new emotion.
But still, I am tired
And my daily intake of caffeine, so high
You can measure it from my blood pressure,
Sudden but spiked, Just like Seeing you
Triggers in me an attack of tachycardia.
I am tired but chaotic,
Trust me when I say this,
The comfort of my bed is something that I no more seek
Mom says, I shouldn’t be drinking coffee!
To value her words I switched to tea,
Endless cups of tea,
Brewed to perfection, aromatic,
Peaceful Tea.
But here I am again,
Typing in these words,
I am tired
But not of life, not of time, not of space
No amount of sleep can put me to rest
No amount of hope can put me to peace
No amount of noise can put me to silence
For I am tired
But not of life, not of time, not of space.

-Roshni Rajshekhar Nair